It is easy to feel guilty as a parent. There are many things to feel guilty about....not spending enough time with our children, being divorced, not getting them to bed on time and the list goes on ad nausem! However, guilt is not only a waste of your energy but is also a way to create entitled children. Why? Because we usually go overboard to make up to them for what we think we did wrong. We buy them extra things, we let them eat things we shouldn't, or we violate other limits we had set in place.
Entitled children are not fun people. They carry around an attitude that life owes them something. If they don't get what the feel is owed to them, they often get angry and hurtful.
Practice:
Ask yourself, "Is their anything I am feeling guilty of that is not helping the relationship?" If yes, work on forgiving yourself. Or take one small action toward creating a solution to the problem. For example, if you are feeling guilty about not spending enough time with your child, make a date with her and put it in your calendar.
Wishing you much success on your parenting journey,
Kathryn Kvols
Author of "Redirecting Children's Behavior"
877 375-6498
www.incaf.com
Kathryn on "Leading Edge Parenting" Radio
Kathryn Kvols, author of the powerful book and course "Redirecting Children's Behavior" will be interviewed on the "Leading Edge Parenting" with Sandi Schwartz February 17th, Wed. 11 AM PST. Don't miss this powerful program! Put it on your calendar! Click here!
Sandi loved Kathyrn's work so much last time she has asked her to be a guest again this month!
Kathryn's New E-book: Turn Misbehavior Into Cooperation!
Would you like more cooperation in your home?
Would you like to greatly diminish power struggles?
Would you like your day with your kids to work more smoothly?
This e-book tells you how.
It includes easy to use, effective tools to turn your child's misbehavior into cooperation.
In addition you will learn:
How to identify each family member's needs. Included is a worksheet to determine which needs are and are not getting met in order to make improvements.
Questions to ask children to expand their thinking to help them make more effective choices.
How to create routines to make your day go more smoothly.
After each section in the e-book there are worksheets to help you create an action plan to implement what you have read.
If you are a therapist or a coach, this is an excellent tool to use with your clients.
It is also a great review for people who read or have taken the "Redirecting Children's Behavior" course.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Asperger's Syndrome/HFA Support Group
This is just a reminder that the Asperger's Syndrome/HFA Support Group now meets on the 2nd Thursday of each month beginning on February 11, 2010. Our location and time remains the same (7-9pm, Wengert Conference Room at NV Energy [formerly Nevada Power Co.]. The address is 6226 W. Sahara Avenue - between Jones and Rainbow. The Conference Room and Parking are in the rear of the building.
I look forward to seeing you there.
I look forward to seeing you there.
Autism's Angels Gala 2010
5th ANNUAL Families for Effective Autism Treatment of Southern Nevada (FEAT)
AUTISM’S ANGELS GALA 2010 – Saturday, April 24, 2010
Honoring Nevada Commission on Autism Spectrum Disorders
Ralph Toddre
Mary Liveratti
Jan M. Crandy
Commissioners
More information will be forthcoming
Contact: 702-368-FEAT (3328) www.featsonv.org
AUTISM’S ANGELS GALA 2010 – Saturday, April 24, 2010
Honoring Nevada Commission on Autism Spectrum Disorders
Ralph Toddre
Mary Liveratti
Jan M. Crandy
Commissioners
More information will be forthcoming
Contact: 702-368-FEAT (3328) www.featsonv.org
Addressing Challenging Behaviors Training
Please view the attached flyer which includes information for our upcoming
Addressing Challenging Behaviors Training. This training will be held on
February 10th and 11th from 9:30am-4:30pm at the UNLV Paradise Campus 851 East
Tropicana, Room: 103B. Thank you, and we look forward to seeing you there.
Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders
UNLV Department of Special Education
4505 Maryland Parkway, Box 453014
Las Vegas, Nevada 89154-3014
Phone#(702)8955836 Fax(702)8950984
http://asdcenter.org/
Addressing Challenging Behaviors Training. This training will be held on
February 10th and 11th from 9:30am-4:30pm at the UNLV Paradise Campus 851 East
Tropicana, Room: 103B. Thank you, and we look forward to seeing you there.
Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders
UNLV Department of Special Education
4505 Maryland Parkway, Box 453014
Las Vegas, Nevada 89154-3014
Phone#(702)8955836 Fax(702)8950984
http://asdcenter.org/
New Camp Scholarship Program
Thanks to a generous donation from the Baker family, Autism Speaks today launched the new Autism Speaks Baker Summer Camp Scholarship Program that will provide eligible camps with funding to offer scholarships to campers with autism. Autism Speaks encourages families to contact their local camp organizations and ask them to submit an application.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A Mother’s Wish List for a Teacher
A Mother’s Wish List for a Teacher
By Diane O’ Rourke-Bankus
1. Please don’t assume that you know what it is like to parent my child. The only person who can possibly relate to my hopes and my dreams, my burdens and my fears, and the difficulties I face, is Heavenly Father!
2. Please respect me for knowing my child better than anyone else. Please accept the ideas I share as tools to help improve a situation for my child, not words of criticism towards you.
3. My child does not speak well. We aren’t able to enjoy the reciprocal conversation about her day at school that you are able to enjoy with your own children. Please communicate with me and allow me to communicate with you, so that I may know about her day. I would like to be able to help her with her difficulties and praise her for her efforts.
4. Please don’t tell me I can’t FIX my child. I was complimented me Heavenly Father that he selected me for this journey - parenting a special needs child. Heavenly Father grants me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… the most difficult of all being that my child has special needs. I can’t FIX that and make it go away and I don’t need to be reminded of that fact. But Heavenly Father also grants me the serenity to change the things that I can. My child is full of motivation, a love for learning, a willingness to improve herself, and pride in her accomplishments. Please respect me for encouraging her to be all that she can be. Please respect her for her very hard work and accomplishments. No, I can’t FIX her disability. But I can provide her with all that she needs to make it easier to live with. And by the way, Heavenly Father grants me the wisdom to know the difference.
5. Allow me to believe in miracles. After all, I do live with one. Don’t slam the doors on my hopes and my dreams.
6. Please respect me for the time, the effort, and the challenge of educating myself in the different areas of the special needs of my child. I have a need to learn all that I can about my child and how she sees the world. I am willing to share this information with you, hoping it will make you job a little bit easier. My knowledge also enables me to help others, which gives me great joy!
7. Pease know that I am tired. There are days when I need some positive reinforcement or a kind word. Because I understand that NEED, I try to provide the same to you and all who are involved in helping my daughter be all that she can be. When my “gas Tank” is empty, it needs to be refilled!
8. Please know that I respect and appreciate all that you do. I know that your job is almost as demanding as mine. When Heavenly Father selected me for this journey, he sent angels along to help me.
You are one of them! Thank You!
BIO
Diane is mom to wonderful, 12 year-old Maura, who was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD. She advocates for special needs children, provides support to parents across the country and is a personal consultant in the areas of ASD, ADHA, and the law. Contact Diane at Bbankus@aol.com
*The word Heavenly Father was inserted to replace the use of God.
By Diane O’ Rourke-Bankus
1. Please don’t assume that you know what it is like to parent my child. The only person who can possibly relate to my hopes and my dreams, my burdens and my fears, and the difficulties I face, is Heavenly Father!
2. Please respect me for knowing my child better than anyone else. Please accept the ideas I share as tools to help improve a situation for my child, not words of criticism towards you.
3. My child does not speak well. We aren’t able to enjoy the reciprocal conversation about her day at school that you are able to enjoy with your own children. Please communicate with me and allow me to communicate with you, so that I may know about her day. I would like to be able to help her with her difficulties and praise her for her efforts.
4. Please don’t tell me I can’t FIX my child. I was complimented me Heavenly Father that he selected me for this journey - parenting a special needs child. Heavenly Father grants me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… the most difficult of all being that my child has special needs. I can’t FIX that and make it go away and I don’t need to be reminded of that fact. But Heavenly Father also grants me the serenity to change the things that I can. My child is full of motivation, a love for learning, a willingness to improve herself, and pride in her accomplishments. Please respect me for encouraging her to be all that she can be. Please respect her for her very hard work and accomplishments. No, I can’t FIX her disability. But I can provide her with all that she needs to make it easier to live with. And by the way, Heavenly Father grants me the wisdom to know the difference.
5. Allow me to believe in miracles. After all, I do live with one. Don’t slam the doors on my hopes and my dreams.
6. Please respect me for the time, the effort, and the challenge of educating myself in the different areas of the special needs of my child. I have a need to learn all that I can about my child and how she sees the world. I am willing to share this information with you, hoping it will make you job a little bit easier. My knowledge also enables me to help others, which gives me great joy!
7. Pease know that I am tired. There are days when I need some positive reinforcement or a kind word. Because I understand that NEED, I try to provide the same to you and all who are involved in helping my daughter be all that she can be. When my “gas Tank” is empty, it needs to be refilled!
8. Please know that I respect and appreciate all that you do. I know that your job is almost as demanding as mine. When Heavenly Father selected me for this journey, he sent angels along to help me.
You are one of them! Thank You!
BIO
Diane is mom to wonderful, 12 year-old Maura, who was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD. She advocates for special needs children, provides support to parents across the country and is a personal consultant in the areas of ASD, ADHA, and the law. Contact Diane at Bbankus@aol.com
*The word Heavenly Father was inserted to replace the use of God.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Identification Bracelets for Special Needs
I got the cutest bracelet for my daughter at www.laurenshope.com They are a little more stylish than the average medical ID bracelet... The inscription I gave her is:
our cell phone numbers
Limited Languagge
Please be patient
our cell phone numbers
Limited Languagge
Please be patient
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